Wow. Blood pressure is a major contributor to heart disease. It's also a major clue that you may have heart disease. Those are pretty well know facts, but did you know that it's your body's way of trying to fix itself? How about the fact that it makes you feel just awful. Did you know that? Well here's some good news. It's treatable. Pretty darn easily to! Here's what your body is doing.
The pressure in your heart goes up because your arteries get narrow. Your heart still needs to move just as much blood but it has less space to do it. As a result it has to push HARDER! Imagine a water balloon with a pin prick in it. The water comes out in a little stream. If you squeezed the balloon the water will gush out faster. A heart that works that hard becomes a problem. Just imagine how tiring it must be.
High blood pressure starts to damage your arteries. This damage can turn into (brace yourselves) a burst artery, called an aneurysm. It can also make your arteries harden, cause stroke, heart attacks, kidney failure, congestive heart failure, and even death. I told you to brace yourself. That's some pretty awful stuff.
See, your blood pressure goes up because your arteries are skinny to begin with. Pushing the blood faster and harder tends to damage these skinny arteries more. What happens? You guessed it. They just get skinnier! More plaque builds up to "scar" the artery. The artery gets even narrower. Now your heart has to work even HARDER! So now your heart is really working hard. It's double timing it to get the blood where it needs to be. The bad news is that your heart needs blood to. It needs lots of oxygen to work. If it's working hard it will suck oxygen and use it to support itself.
To bad you need that oxygen to. Now your heart will pick itself first so you're left out. Sorry. Guess we didn't need to breathe after all right? All of the sudden people that suffer from high blood pressure find themselves exhausted and short of breath. It's a miserable feeling and it directly points to your heart working to hard. Have you ever wondered why you get out of breath when you work out or get excited? Well the answer is easy. When you're working hard, your heart is doing 10 times more. It's using your oxygen and leaving you a little short. Go figure. It can also make you feel bad by giving you dizzy spells, swelling up your ankles and feet, causing chest pain, changing your vision, giving you leg cramps, and causing you to lose your concentration i.e. forgetful periods.
What's silly to me is that so many people have a blood pressure problem and don't know it or don't treat it. It absolutely does lead to all those big bad things listed above that can kill you but more then that it makes you feel bad! If you have a cold you treat it right? Why not your heart? With the right medication high blood pressure is easily treatable. If you stay on the medication your heart will work less and work better. You'll perk up, feel better, and get stronger. Imagine that!
Now don't get all grumpy with your heart for sucking up all your oxygen and hurting itself worse. It's doing it's best with what you give it. Honestly, it wouldn't be in this mess if you'd been watching it! Luckily for all of us we live in a time when blood pressure can be treated with a minimum of fuss. There's nothing to it. Really. Most of the time your regular doctor can diagnose and treat it so you don't even have to go see someone new. Now isn't that easy? Honestly, I think it took me longer to write this blog post then it should take you to get it checked. No excuses people! Unless of course you WANT to feel bad...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sometimes it sucks to be a girl.
Yes, really. Being a woman and having heart disease means you have a pretty grim outlook. That being said it's not a death sentence. Us girls just need to get it together and do better. Here's why...
Did you know that women are more likely to die of massive heart attacks? Why? Because we don't go to the doctor! Women are used to pain and tend to brush off the symptoms of a heart attack. When we're having one we don't go to the ER because we're embarrassed or don't think it's that bad. Unfortunately, I'm guilty of this. By the time I made my first ER appearance I had a major problem. Here are some statistics to show you just how common us girls are and why we die more. Scary stuff, but if you know you can avoid it right? Right?!?
1. Women are more likely to die within one year of having a heart attack.
2. Traditionally, women are less likely to get state-of-the-art diagnostic care and treatments.
3. By the time women are treated their heart disease is normally much more advanced then in men. ( Wow. I fell right into that one didn't I?)
4. Women are diagnosed with heart disease just as much as men are. The numbers match people. Your heart doesn't care if you're a girl.
5. Women are scared of cancer. Unfortunately for us, you have much better odds of dying of heart disease then ALL other cancers COMBINED! Wow guys, that's a lot of women. Add up all the women that died of cancer last year. Many, many more died because of their hearts. Sad isn't it?
6. Last but not least, women are more likely to die in heart surgery. Statistically, once we're on the table the odds aren't in our favor for make it off it.
Now this scared me a little. It's also oddly comforting. At least I'm not the only stubborn, heardheaded woman out there who didn't pay attention to her heart. We're all like that! Honestly, I spent more time in one day thinking about my hair then I spent in my whole life thinking about my heart. Pitiful I know, but at least we're all guilty.
Know better, do better right? I myself was a victim of some of these things. Here's how my little list shakes down.
1. I didn't go to the doctor when I had all of the signs of heart problems. It never even occurred to me.
2. Once in the ER I was in bad shape. It took them longer to diagnose a heart attack because I was a young woman who looked healthy. If I was a man in his 50's I would have been diagnosed at the door.
3. They let me eat chicken fingers! Chicken fingers!!! While I was having a heart attack! Once I was admitted, they still didn't want to admit that a woman my age was in that much trouble. They even allowed me to eat a major cardiac no no while they waited for my test results. More then anything this shows that even the best doctors can be surprised.
4. My surgery, a cathe procedure, didn't go well. Once I was diagnosed my heart didn't cooperate at all. I had to have a stent put in because all other attempts to repair my artery failed. It works great now but at the time if scared the hell out of my poor husband.
5. Because I waited and didn't know better, heart disease has a very firm hold on my heart. It's rooted deep and has progressed at an alarming rate.
Well that's the bad news. See how being a woman can directly affect your chances of survival? Scary huh? Now I have some good news. Well, good for me at least. I have amazing doctors. I have a wonderful cardiologist and a whole team of doctors and nurses that run my cardiac rehab program. These guys are rockstars. They don't accept failure and have taken a special interest in me. Thanks guys! I'm also on the biggest, baddest, and best of everything. From the medication I take, to the rehab I'm going through, and even my stent in my heart. Absolutely everything is the best of the best. It's new, it's expensive, and best of all, it works! This DEFINITELY ups my odds. I have an incredible surgeon, state-of-the-art medication and implants (bionic woman anyone?), and I'm getting the after care that's crucial to recovery and prevention. Add to that my age, health, and sheer stubborn nature and you have the chances of me living a long time firmly in my favor.
The moral of the story is for us women to understand the enemy. Quit worrying if you're going to get cancer or hit by a bus. Don't do what I did and ignore what your body is telling you. Go to the doctor. Get your cholesterol level checked. Take care of yourself! I know we're busy bees but if you don't take care of your heart, who's going to take care of your children's? Odds are it will be your husband. Now isn't that embarrassing?
Did you know that women are more likely to die of massive heart attacks? Why? Because we don't go to the doctor! Women are used to pain and tend to brush off the symptoms of a heart attack. When we're having one we don't go to the ER because we're embarrassed or don't think it's that bad. Unfortunately, I'm guilty of this. By the time I made my first ER appearance I had a major problem. Here are some statistics to show you just how common us girls are and why we die more. Scary stuff, but if you know you can avoid it right? Right?!?
1. Women are more likely to die within one year of having a heart attack.
2. Traditionally, women are less likely to get state-of-the-art diagnostic care and treatments.
3. By the time women are treated their heart disease is normally much more advanced then in men. ( Wow. I fell right into that one didn't I?)
4. Women are diagnosed with heart disease just as much as men are. The numbers match people. Your heart doesn't care if you're a girl.
5. Women are scared of cancer. Unfortunately for us, you have much better odds of dying of heart disease then ALL other cancers COMBINED! Wow guys, that's a lot of women. Add up all the women that died of cancer last year. Many, many more died because of their hearts. Sad isn't it?
6. Last but not least, women are more likely to die in heart surgery. Statistically, once we're on the table the odds aren't in our favor for make it off it.
Now this scared me a little. It's also oddly comforting. At least I'm not the only stubborn, heardheaded woman out there who didn't pay attention to her heart. We're all like that! Honestly, I spent more time in one day thinking about my hair then I spent in my whole life thinking about my heart. Pitiful I know, but at least we're all guilty.
Know better, do better right? I myself was a victim of some of these things. Here's how my little list shakes down.
1. I didn't go to the doctor when I had all of the signs of heart problems. It never even occurred to me.
2. Once in the ER I was in bad shape. It took them longer to diagnose a heart attack because I was a young woman who looked healthy. If I was a man in his 50's I would have been diagnosed at the door.
3. They let me eat chicken fingers! Chicken fingers!!! While I was having a heart attack! Once I was admitted, they still didn't want to admit that a woman my age was in that much trouble. They even allowed me to eat a major cardiac no no while they waited for my test results. More then anything this shows that even the best doctors can be surprised.
4. My surgery, a cathe procedure, didn't go well. Once I was diagnosed my heart didn't cooperate at all. I had to have a stent put in because all other attempts to repair my artery failed. It works great now but at the time if scared the hell out of my poor husband.
5. Because I waited and didn't know better, heart disease has a very firm hold on my heart. It's rooted deep and has progressed at an alarming rate.
Well that's the bad news. See how being a woman can directly affect your chances of survival? Scary huh? Now I have some good news. Well, good for me at least. I have amazing doctors. I have a wonderful cardiologist and a whole team of doctors and nurses that run my cardiac rehab program. These guys are rockstars. They don't accept failure and have taken a special interest in me. Thanks guys! I'm also on the biggest, baddest, and best of everything. From the medication I take, to the rehab I'm going through, and even my stent in my heart. Absolutely everything is the best of the best. It's new, it's expensive, and best of all, it works! This DEFINITELY ups my odds. I have an incredible surgeon, state-of-the-art medication and implants (bionic woman anyone?), and I'm getting the after care that's crucial to recovery and prevention. Add to that my age, health, and sheer stubborn nature and you have the chances of me living a long time firmly in my favor.
The moral of the story is for us women to understand the enemy. Quit worrying if you're going to get cancer or hit by a bus. Don't do what I did and ignore what your body is telling you. Go to the doctor. Get your cholesterol level checked. Take care of yourself! I know we're busy bees but if you don't take care of your heart, who's going to take care of your children's? Odds are it will be your husband. Now isn't that embarrassing?
What I Have.... Officially
What a relief! I FINALLY have some answers on what exactly is going on with my heart. Now the news may sound a little grim but knowledge is power. If you know your "enemy" you can attack it back. So here it is in black and white. Please keep in mind that I have a really good attitude while I write this... I'm not going anywhere!
I have "bad genes." What this means is that I have all the genetic markers for early heart disease. It isn't from one parent or the other. It's from both. The two combined have all the building blocks that I inherited. Add in smoking, and you have a perfect storm for heart disease. I was a walking time bomb. If I didn't smoke I still would have developed heart disease. Smoking just brought the problem to light sooner. In a way I'm lucky it did! I'm in the best shape of my life. Having a heart attack now means that I was strong enough to survive it. In a decade or two who knows what could have happened?
I have something called Atherosclerosis. Sounds scary huh? Well it is, but like I said before, if you know who's attacking you you can fight back. What does that big scary word mean? It means that I get a progressive buildup of plaque in the arteries in my heart. Want a better explanation? I sure did!
Clogged pipes. That's the simple easy answer. What happens is that the arteries around my heart have slowly been collecting plaque. Plaque is sticky and once it's there it's hard to get rid of. Gradually, the plaque will build up and your arteries will narrow. Once that happens clots can form and totally block the artery. That's a heart attack. The heart muscle isn't getting blood so it starts to die. That's the heart damage. If a "pipe" gets clogged in your heart you have a heart attack. If a "pipe" gets clogged in your head you have a stroke. Get it?
Now that's the easy description. The rub comes in with this. Why does the plaque stick there in the first place?!? Well your heart works hard. It's your pump and normally it does a good job. As it works your arteries are flexing and moving. Just like feeling the burn from a really good workout, your arteries develop tiny tears. These tears are itty bitty wounds. Now here's where the bad genes and smoking come in... they make the wounds worse! Risk factors like genetics, smoking, and stress are added up and your body (now isn't this ironic?) tries to defend itself. It rushes blood cells to the tears in your arteries. Cholesterol in your blood settles in the tear and gets stuck there. Over time the buildup will get worse and your artery will start to suffer. Eventually, a clot will form and the artery will stop doing what it does best. Keeping your heart and you alive.
Holy goodness that sounds bad right?!? Well yeah, it's bad. I can't candy coat that part. Here's the good news. I know what it is!!! Before I had the equivalent of a sniper attack. No real warning and no preparation. I lost a battle because I didn't know there was a war. Never again! I can't reverse the damage my heart already has but I CAN fight the atherosclerosis. I can adjust my diet, stop smoking, work out, and be prepared! Just as gradually as the plaque built up, I can erode it away. People that actively attack heart disease have a much better chance of surviving it. So don't count me out! I'll take those odds and I expect to be around for quite sometime.
I have "bad genes." What this means is that I have all the genetic markers for early heart disease. It isn't from one parent or the other. It's from both. The two combined have all the building blocks that I inherited. Add in smoking, and you have a perfect storm for heart disease. I was a walking time bomb. If I didn't smoke I still would have developed heart disease. Smoking just brought the problem to light sooner. In a way I'm lucky it did! I'm in the best shape of my life. Having a heart attack now means that I was strong enough to survive it. In a decade or two who knows what could have happened?
I have something called Atherosclerosis. Sounds scary huh? Well it is, but like I said before, if you know who's attacking you you can fight back. What does that big scary word mean? It means that I get a progressive buildup of plaque in the arteries in my heart. Want a better explanation? I sure did!
Clogged pipes. That's the simple easy answer. What happens is that the arteries around my heart have slowly been collecting plaque. Plaque is sticky and once it's there it's hard to get rid of. Gradually, the plaque will build up and your arteries will narrow. Once that happens clots can form and totally block the artery. That's a heart attack. The heart muscle isn't getting blood so it starts to die. That's the heart damage. If a "pipe" gets clogged in your heart you have a heart attack. If a "pipe" gets clogged in your head you have a stroke. Get it?
Now that's the easy description. The rub comes in with this. Why does the plaque stick there in the first place?!? Well your heart works hard. It's your pump and normally it does a good job. As it works your arteries are flexing and moving. Just like feeling the burn from a really good workout, your arteries develop tiny tears. These tears are itty bitty wounds. Now here's where the bad genes and smoking come in... they make the wounds worse! Risk factors like genetics, smoking, and stress are added up and your body (now isn't this ironic?) tries to defend itself. It rushes blood cells to the tears in your arteries. Cholesterol in your blood settles in the tear and gets stuck there. Over time the buildup will get worse and your artery will start to suffer. Eventually, a clot will form and the artery will stop doing what it does best. Keeping your heart and you alive.
Holy goodness that sounds bad right?!? Well yeah, it's bad. I can't candy coat that part. Here's the good news. I know what it is!!! Before I had the equivalent of a sniper attack. No real warning and no preparation. I lost a battle because I didn't know there was a war. Never again! I can't reverse the damage my heart already has but I CAN fight the atherosclerosis. I can adjust my diet, stop smoking, work out, and be prepared! Just as gradually as the plaque built up, I can erode it away. People that actively attack heart disease have a much better chance of surviving it. So don't count me out! I'll take those odds and I expect to be around for quite sometime.
Friday, October 2, 2009
A Walking Ink Blot
I'm on all sorts of medication. Most of those medications have to do with some function of my blood. Some prevent clots from forming and some keep my blood a little thin. Thinner nonclotting blood is a good thing because that means a clot can't form in my heart and the blood moves along at a good pace and gets where it needs to go. No more straining my arteries. Mine need a break! That's the good part. The downside is that these two drugs combined cause the only outward sign that I've had a heart attack. I'm a walking ink blot. A Rorschach test in motion. I'm covered in bruises.
Now before I start I should say that there's nothing about my condition that I'm ashamed of. Absolutely anyone can ask me any question and I will do my best to answer it. That's why I built this blog. Every day I have emails. I'm working on it guys! While Plavix (the clotting pill) and Aspirin (the thinning pill) are doing a great job at keeping me alive, bruising is a side effect that is obnoxious for me and causes a few uncomfortable moments for anyone who is near me. Like I said, it's the only outward sign that I've had a heart attack and people tend to notice. I decided to post this blog entry so I can get it out in the open and answer all the questions I'm being asked on this subject.
The blood in my body is different now. Because it doesn't clot and is thinner that means that the slightest bump or nudge can cause the blood to seep under my skin and cause a bruise. They don't hurt and often by the time I notice a new one I've forgotten how I may have gotten it. I try to cover the bruises when I can and ignore them when I can't.
Along with bruising I also get those strange blood blister things. They happen the most where the veins are closest to the surface like on my hands, feet, and forearms. Again, they don't hurt to bad but they sure do look and feel interesting! The first one I got was when I rapped the top of my hand on a skillet I was washing. I looked down a noticed a purple knot there. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I called my husband on the phone all stressed out and thinking I was dying of a blood clot. Nope, no clot, just a blood blister and it went away faster then a bruise so no harm done.
In a way the bruises are a good thing. It means that the medication is working and the narrow arteries I have are getting a bit of a break. The strain on them is less and the chances of getting another clot stuck in there is low. Yay me right? While it's mildly entertaining to have a bunny head on your leg, it would be nice if it didn't show up in the first place. I asked the doctors on my cardiac rehab team how long I have to take Plavix and Aspirin. Weeellll.... that depends. I'll be on the aspirin forever. It's cheap, it's easy, it saves lives. Sold. No complaints from me on that one. The Plavix is the kicker. It's expensive, causes the crazy bruises, and is a pain to take at the same time everyday. More on that later. If I'm lucky, I can quit taking Plavix one year into my treatment. If I'm doing good then, I'll be able to give it up and see how my heart does on it's own. The marks and bruises will go away after that.
Give a girl a break now will ya? It's a little hard to be stared at but I think the staring is harder on you. The next time you talk to a heart patient you can do one of two things gracefully. You can flat out ask. "How did you get that bruise?" then be prepared for the answer of "I have no idea." Accept the answer. A heart patient rarely remembers the tiny nudge that left the mark. I tied my shoe too tightly once. I had a nice smudgy bruise on my foot before I fixed it.
The other thing you can do is ignore it altogether. Yes, there's a bruise. You know what they feel like so why ask. Now that you've read this post you know it's unlikely to be a welcome topic. I'm not embarrassed to be asked but I'm asked a LOT. After explaining it over and over again the year of Plavix tends to stretch out before a person. Now imagine you have a buddy on Plavix (or something similar) and every time you see them you ask. See how tiring that can be?
I've found that the people I am most comfortable with tend to ask me once then drop it. It's hard living with a constant reminder on one's skin and having it pointed out can just make it harder. Ask if you must but don't linger. I've met some wonderful heart patients while I'm being treated. We all have marks sometimes and we all agree. Once you know it's just a side effect of the medication it's best left alone. Thanks guys and I hope that helps! Oh and for the crazy people that like to POKE bruises... quit that! Ow!
Now before I start I should say that there's nothing about my condition that I'm ashamed of. Absolutely anyone can ask me any question and I will do my best to answer it. That's why I built this blog. Every day I have emails. I'm working on it guys! While Plavix (the clotting pill) and Aspirin (the thinning pill) are doing a great job at keeping me alive, bruising is a side effect that is obnoxious for me and causes a few uncomfortable moments for anyone who is near me. Like I said, it's the only outward sign that I've had a heart attack and people tend to notice. I decided to post this blog entry so I can get it out in the open and answer all the questions I'm being asked on this subject.
The blood in my body is different now. Because it doesn't clot and is thinner that means that the slightest bump or nudge can cause the blood to seep under my skin and cause a bruise. They don't hurt and often by the time I notice a new one I've forgotten how I may have gotten it. I try to cover the bruises when I can and ignore them when I can't.
Along with bruising I also get those strange blood blister things. They happen the most where the veins are closest to the surface like on my hands, feet, and forearms. Again, they don't hurt to bad but they sure do look and feel interesting! The first one I got was when I rapped the top of my hand on a skillet I was washing. I looked down a noticed a purple knot there. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I called my husband on the phone all stressed out and thinking I was dying of a blood clot. Nope, no clot, just a blood blister and it went away faster then a bruise so no harm done.
In a way the bruises are a good thing. It means that the medication is working and the narrow arteries I have are getting a bit of a break. The strain on them is less and the chances of getting another clot stuck in there is low. Yay me right? While it's mildly entertaining to have a bunny head on your leg, it would be nice if it didn't show up in the first place. I asked the doctors on my cardiac rehab team how long I have to take Plavix and Aspirin. Weeellll.... that depends. I'll be on the aspirin forever. It's cheap, it's easy, it saves lives. Sold. No complaints from me on that one. The Plavix is the kicker. It's expensive, causes the crazy bruises, and is a pain to take at the same time everyday. More on that later. If I'm lucky, I can quit taking Plavix one year into my treatment. If I'm doing good then, I'll be able to give it up and see how my heart does on it's own. The marks and bruises will go away after that.
Give a girl a break now will ya? It's a little hard to be stared at but I think the staring is harder on you. The next time you talk to a heart patient you can do one of two things gracefully. You can flat out ask. "How did you get that bruise?" then be prepared for the answer of "I have no idea." Accept the answer. A heart patient rarely remembers the tiny nudge that left the mark. I tied my shoe too tightly once. I had a nice smudgy bruise on my foot before I fixed it.
The other thing you can do is ignore it altogether. Yes, there's a bruise. You know what they feel like so why ask. Now that you've read this post you know it's unlikely to be a welcome topic. I'm not embarrassed to be asked but I'm asked a LOT. After explaining it over and over again the year of Plavix tends to stretch out before a person. Now imagine you have a buddy on Plavix (or something similar) and every time you see them you ask. See how tiring that can be?
I've found that the people I am most comfortable with tend to ask me once then drop it. It's hard living with a constant reminder on one's skin and having it pointed out can just make it harder. Ask if you must but don't linger. I've met some wonderful heart patients while I'm being treated. We all have marks sometimes and we all agree. Once you know it's just a side effect of the medication it's best left alone. Thanks guys and I hope that helps! Oh and for the crazy people that like to POKE bruises... quit that! Ow!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Now You've Done It!
There are five stages of grief. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the last two months I have gone full circle and have decided to settle on my all time favorite. Anger. I've been told that when you're sick, you disassociate the problem from your body so that you have something to focus on. It's the mother of all defense mechanisms and boy does it work! Cancer patients hate the cancer not themselves. Heart patients hate their hearts. I absolutely need it to stay alive and my heart absolutely isn't cooperating with me. For the past two months it has done everything it can to make my recovery road just a teeny bit harder. I'm doing my part and my heart isn't pulling it's weight. The battle lines have been drawn with my body on both sides.
Anger is a good thing. It's a huge motivator. All you have to do is turn on the television to hear a story of a double amputee that gold medals at the special Olympics, a breast cancer survivor running a marathon, or a spinal injury victim learning how to swim. All of these people have the same thing in common. An absolute refusal to listen to their body's restrictions. Well my nose is out of joint now to. There is nothing in my life now that I hate more then heart disease. I fear it, I'm disgusted by it, and I absolutely refuse to let it dictate my life. I WILL stop my heart's progression with heart disease and keep it at bay. I will run in that 5k because I just don't understand why I can't. This "nonsense" picked the wrong girl to mess with. This is a fight I'm going to win. Sorry, but when you're angry enough to see red, losing isn't an option.
If diet and exercise will halt my heart's attitude I'll show you the mother of all training programs. Every weight training session that turns my muscles to lava, every apple I eat instead of a Snickers, every sweat soaked shirt is a punch in the face of heart disease. Every push up, sit up, and chin up is fueled by pure hate. Thousands of people (many in worse shape then me) have pressed on and held on and I will follow in their footsteps. I will always have heart disease but it doesn't have to have me.
Anger is a good thing. It's a huge motivator. All you have to do is turn on the television to hear a story of a double amputee that gold medals at the special Olympics, a breast cancer survivor running a marathon, or a spinal injury victim learning how to swim. All of these people have the same thing in common. An absolute refusal to listen to their body's restrictions. Well my nose is out of joint now to. There is nothing in my life now that I hate more then heart disease. I fear it, I'm disgusted by it, and I absolutely refuse to let it dictate my life. I WILL stop my heart's progression with heart disease and keep it at bay. I will run in that 5k because I just don't understand why I can't. This "nonsense" picked the wrong girl to mess with. This is a fight I'm going to win. Sorry, but when you're angry enough to see red, losing isn't an option.
If diet and exercise will halt my heart's attitude I'll show you the mother of all training programs. Every weight training session that turns my muscles to lava, every apple I eat instead of a Snickers, every sweat soaked shirt is a punch in the face of heart disease. Every push up, sit up, and chin up is fueled by pure hate. Thousands of people (many in worse shape then me) have pressed on and held on and I will follow in their footsteps. I will always have heart disease but it doesn't have to have me.
A Harsh Reality
Everyone that has had a heart attack has to go through a cardiac rehab program to recover from it. I've REALLY been looking forward to my rehab classes as a kind of way to totally recover and put all the heart disease "nonsense" behind me. I was a jogger before my heart attack and I was ready to jump on that treadmill and go!
Today was my first class and imagine my surprise when instead of being pumped up and progressing I'm instead having the WORST day since I was told I had a stent in my heart. I arrived early in my workout clothes and filled out a mountain of paperwork related to my condition. They pull you in an office and go over all your medications then ask you the most important question of your rehab process. What are your goals? I'm prepared for this so I confidently reply "I want to run a 5k by this time next year." A 5k is just over three miles and is an easy run. I have been looking at this goal as easy to reach and fun to work towards. My sweet new trainer looks me dead in the eyes and tells me that that's not realistic.
Excuse me? NOT realistic?!? It's three stinkin' miles! I'm not going to be able to run three miles?!? In a year? What kind of trouble am I in exactly? That's when the worst talk of my life happened. I'm just now learning that your cardiologist just patches up what is damaged and sends you back out with a prognosis of that PARTICULAR damaging event. Rehab is where you get the bad news. I sat in that chair and was given the worst news of my life. My trainer calmly and gently told me that I was NEVER going to get better. Ever.
I sat there totally shocked while these particular facts were delivered to me.
1. I have heart disease. It never goes away and is incurable. It gets progressively worse, so I will always have a cardiologist and will always need to monitor it. For the rest of my life.
2. I need to become an expert on all things heart. It's one hell of a crash course. I need to understand everything I can about blood pressure reading, blood tests, hospital tests, and the inner and outer workings of my heart. They're important. For the rest of my life.
3. Some medication I'll be able to stop taking, some I will be on forever. I will always have to be monitored though and there will always be pills. I may be nitroglycerin dependant. For the rest of my life.
4. I have a new diet, a new workout routine, and new lifestyle. If I do not maintain the strict rules of this lifestyle I am risking another heart attack. I can never even THINK about fast food. For the rest of my life.
5. I have some heart damage and it's NEVER going away. I can learn to work around it, and I can make the rest of my heart stronger, but the damage is there. Permanently. Instead of recovery, I need to be focusing on learning how to get the most out of what I have left.
6. That 5k that looked so easy? It's a barely reachable goal. To achieve it, I have to become an athlete. Reaching that finish line is a MAJOR life accomplishment.
Can you guess the part that upsets me the most? For the rest of my life! I had REALLY thought that I was going to walk away from this with a clean bill of health. I have never considered the fact that I was in that serious of a situation that I wasn't going to recover from it. The harsh reality is that I have heart disease. It's sneaky and it's silent. My heart is my newest and biggest enemy. If I slip up, if I don't stay on top of it, if I forget for one minute it's there, it can get worse. Halting the progression of this disease has to become one of the biggest priorities of my life. Holy goodness, this could kill me! Fast! If I don't play by the rules I'll have stents all over and a very short, very sick life.
Enough of that. As you can imagine I was pretty shocked to leave for rehab excited and end up sitting on my sofa a little teary in the afternoon. I need to get my game face on! If I have to super glue that sucker in place then that's what I'll do. My goal is still that 5k. If becoming an athlete and making some changes is necessary then that's what it takes. I've always said I would go down swinging and I've just earned the longest fight of my life. My sister sent me a package that I opened today. Inside I found a workout outfit. The little tshirt says "Consider your butt already kicked." Now who would have thought I needed to kick my own butt?!? It's perfect and I can't wait to wear it to my next class. I've given myself an attitude adjustment. It sucks to be thirty and have heart disease. It sucks worse to be dead. Poor pitiful me huh? I've been sentenced to a lifetime of skinny jeans and flat abs. Oh the horror! I've cruised right over pitiful and have landed square on pissed. I'm furious this happened right now. I'm going to be the poster child for heart health. By this time next year I WILL be entered in a run. We'll just see who wins this little fighting match. I wouldn't bet your money against me!
Today was my first class and imagine my surprise when instead of being pumped up and progressing I'm instead having the WORST day since I was told I had a stent in my heart. I arrived early in my workout clothes and filled out a mountain of paperwork related to my condition. They pull you in an office and go over all your medications then ask you the most important question of your rehab process. What are your goals? I'm prepared for this so I confidently reply "I want to run a 5k by this time next year." A 5k is just over three miles and is an easy run. I have been looking at this goal as easy to reach and fun to work towards. My sweet new trainer looks me dead in the eyes and tells me that that's not realistic.
Excuse me? NOT realistic?!? It's three stinkin' miles! I'm not going to be able to run three miles?!? In a year? What kind of trouble am I in exactly? That's when the worst talk of my life happened. I'm just now learning that your cardiologist just patches up what is damaged and sends you back out with a prognosis of that PARTICULAR damaging event. Rehab is where you get the bad news. I sat in that chair and was given the worst news of my life. My trainer calmly and gently told me that I was NEVER going to get better. Ever.
I sat there totally shocked while these particular facts were delivered to me.
1. I have heart disease. It never goes away and is incurable. It gets progressively worse, so I will always have a cardiologist and will always need to monitor it. For the rest of my life.
2. I need to become an expert on all things heart. It's one hell of a crash course. I need to understand everything I can about blood pressure reading, blood tests, hospital tests, and the inner and outer workings of my heart. They're important. For the rest of my life.
3. Some medication I'll be able to stop taking, some I will be on forever. I will always have to be monitored though and there will always be pills. I may be nitroglycerin dependant. For the rest of my life.
4. I have a new diet, a new workout routine, and new lifestyle. If I do not maintain the strict rules of this lifestyle I am risking another heart attack. I can never even THINK about fast food. For the rest of my life.
5. I have some heart damage and it's NEVER going away. I can learn to work around it, and I can make the rest of my heart stronger, but the damage is there. Permanently. Instead of recovery, I need to be focusing on learning how to get the most out of what I have left.
6. That 5k that looked so easy? It's a barely reachable goal. To achieve it, I have to become an athlete. Reaching that finish line is a MAJOR life accomplishment.
Can you guess the part that upsets me the most? For the rest of my life! I had REALLY thought that I was going to walk away from this with a clean bill of health. I have never considered the fact that I was in that serious of a situation that I wasn't going to recover from it. The harsh reality is that I have heart disease. It's sneaky and it's silent. My heart is my newest and biggest enemy. If I slip up, if I don't stay on top of it, if I forget for one minute it's there, it can get worse. Halting the progression of this disease has to become one of the biggest priorities of my life. Holy goodness, this could kill me! Fast! If I don't play by the rules I'll have stents all over and a very short, very sick life.
Enough of that. As you can imagine I was pretty shocked to leave for rehab excited and end up sitting on my sofa a little teary in the afternoon. I need to get my game face on! If I have to super glue that sucker in place then that's what I'll do. My goal is still that 5k. If becoming an athlete and making some changes is necessary then that's what it takes. I've always said I would go down swinging and I've just earned the longest fight of my life. My sister sent me a package that I opened today. Inside I found a workout outfit. The little tshirt says "Consider your butt already kicked." Now who would have thought I needed to kick my own butt?!? It's perfect and I can't wait to wear it to my next class. I've given myself an attitude adjustment. It sucks to be thirty and have heart disease. It sucks worse to be dead. Poor pitiful me huh? I've been sentenced to a lifetime of skinny jeans and flat abs. Oh the horror! I've cruised right over pitiful and have landed square on pissed. I'm furious this happened right now. I'm going to be the poster child for heart health. By this time next year I WILL be entered in a run. We'll just see who wins this little fighting match. I wouldn't bet your money against me!
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