Bug! BUG!!! There's a bug in the boat!!! COREY! Getitgetitgetit! Yeah, yeah. I know. We all have something right? If there's one thing that totally flips me out it's a cockroach. The definition of a phobia is an irrational fear. While I know it's ignorant, I'm so scared of the nasty things that I can't even get close enough to kill them. See? I told you it was irrational.
Bugs are an unfortunate part of marinas in the fall. They all seem to pop up with the weather change. One minute you're having a perfectly good evening and the next you've abandoned ship because a cockroach is FLYING around the living room. Poor Corey. I cower on the dock, refusing to set foot on the boat until he goes in and kills it. The worst part? He really doesn't have a choice. Here's why...
One night Corey and I were snuggled up in bed when I spotted a cockroach creeping around. This presented a rather big problem. There's no way I'm going to sleep with that critter inside. Do I disturb my slumbering husband? Nope. I grabbed a can of Raid and tried to sneak up on it. I sprayed it, it charged me, I panicked and held down the trigger. I literally finished off the can of bugspray. That sucker was snow white and d.e.a.d. Victory! Not really. I gassed out the boat. Corey woke up coughing to find his wild eyed wife clutching a can of Raid and crouched on a counter. Not my finest moment. We both ended up outside coughing and red eyed. Corey briefly braved the fumes to retrieve the dead bug and open the hatches. The poor man doesn't stand a chance.
Because of this little eccentricity of mine we have the unbuggiest boat in the marina. I've spent the past two days waging chemical warfare against, well, nothing. Every line, deck, hatch, and overhang is treated. Heck, I sprayed the dock to. Juuust to be sure. The only way the thing has a chance is to fly on. If it makes it past my chemical defenses it gets to go a round with the Heart Nazi. He's rather go a round with it then with me anyway. :)
Note - Yes, boat people, I know. It's a salon. Boats have salons. Well this is my boat so I can call it my living room on my very own blog. I promise the next time a bug zooms around it I'll cower in my stateroom, not my bedroom. :)
I think, perhaps, we are long lost sisters. I am laughing so hard, there are tears in my eyes... ONLY because I have danced the bug dance ~ from counter tops, chairs, stools, tables... AND ~ I cannot bring myself to dispose of the creepy crawlers even after they have been smothered in Raid and beaten to death with a Swiffer mop (from a distance of course!)!!! Glad to know I am not alone :)
ReplyDeleteNow I'm cracking up! Thank you!!! I thought I was the only one that couldn't pick them up!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why it's so different, but I'm not afraid of bugs at all, but SPIDERS...ugh! The other week there was one in the basement and I screamed and Scott laughed at me before killing it...I didn't go in the basement for days! And I made him spray the whole house for spiders!
ReplyDeletegaaaah. i am so with you. right now, i live in a basement. we are going through our usual trials with the camel crickets that work their way in. camel crickets are a wonderful little discovery i made when i moved to the mid-atlantic. they're like regular crickets, but with a much higher jump. greeeat.
ReplyDeletenot only that, though, but we're in the midst of an invasion of, of all things, stink bugs. they're all over the man's house, and they're just awful.
i know insects are an important part of the food chain and all. i know that. but i hate them. i hate them so, so much.