An evil that must be named.

I would like to introduce you to something so awful, so heinous, so wrong that it must be named. Behold, the slug of shame. The slug of SHAME! Yeah, see the head turn? The slug knows what he's done. Bad kitty!!! What did the slug do to be banished to the back deck? Evil, nasty, terrible things. Chuck... is-a-murderer. A serial killer no less.

Exhibit #1 - A rainy Sunday. Corey spots Chuck's face pressed to our door. He's holding a rat and wants in! Corey thinks this is funny. He calls me over to see. Chuck inches closer and starts crying around the nasty cargo in his mouth. I flip out. Chuck gets startled. Drops rat. It RUNS OFF! Corey thinks this is not funny. Chuck = slug of shame. Corey = all afternoon pulling up hatches (in the rain) looking for a half mangled critter loose on a boat. Huh? Huh? What's funny NOW Corey?

Exhibit #2 - Chuck is a thief. Some random guy was throwing a cast net. Catches fish. Becomes a happy fisherman. Chuck darts it, steals biggest fish, then runs away. He drags it all the way through the marina so it's nice and mangled. I hear a big thump and get creeped out. I investigate. While barefoot, I step on large mangled fish. It gets pitched overboard and I get a shower. Later, I am confronted by the fisherman. He is angry and calls Chuck a thief. I have no idea how to compensate for a fish (that I stepped on) so all I can do is suffer through an extremely awkward moment until he shuffles off. I'm pissed. At Chuck.

Exhibit #3 - I come home from work and discover a tiny, dead barn swallow. Chuck is extremely proud of himself. Barn swallows are some of my favorite birds and I've happily watched nests of them all summer. There's sadness, snot, and tears. You go too far Chuck! Corey comes home to remove the bird and deal with the sadness, snot, and tears. Now Corey is not happy. Chuck morphs into slug of shame.

Now Chuck is sick with a severe sinus infection. Revenge! Poor Corey and I get to cram 4 pills a day, twice daily, down his pissed off face. This is LOVE Chuck! You know, like the gifts. Don't pets make life fun?