Eat your heart out!

I'm not a Valentine's Day fan. It's a silly holiday. You're either really good at it or you're destined for a holiday filled with anxiety and last minute shopping. Non Valentine's people only find value in the 75% off candy you can pick up the day after.

If it's not already obvious, I'm not a big fan of packed restaurants, slapped together bouquets, and cheap-o ugly jewelry they pimp in commercials. Blech. Still don't think that's bad enough? Keep scrolling down!
Ta da! It's a MEAT heart! Seriously. My favorite grocery store took two 1 inch thick ribeyes and packed them in a heart shaped cake pan. BOOM! It's an instant man gift to prove your love and affection. Could this thing BE any more disgusting?! Please pardon the awful picture. No one loves a post facial, fabric headband like me. I can totally rock the getting-pretty-makes-you-ugly look don't you think?
Let's put the Heart-O-Meat into perspective shall we?
-points to self- I'm a HEART patient. Holding this nasty thing. Oh, and I don't eat cows, or pigs, or anything else with fur for that matter. It's beyond awful. So why did I buy it? Because Handsome really loves steak and I really love Handsome. These were the biggest ribeyes in the store so these were the ones he got. Go me.

Ever seen two slabs of red meat marinating in a heart pan? It looks like an autopsy. I'm sorry to say that after I caught a glimpse I chickened out and insisted he cook them that night. Screw the marinade, I can't sleep with that THING lurking in my fridge. It totally creeped me out! My movie brain kicked in and all I could think about was opening the refrigerator door and being attacked by a giant meat heart Facehugger style like in Aliens. If you don't know what a Facehugger is Google it. It'll come back to you in all it's nightmare inducing glory. Next replace any picture you pull up with a meat heart and you'll have a pretty good idea of what was going through my head. It's a strange place in there sometimes.
THIS is how I spent that night while they were in there. Approach fridge with caution, avoid eye contact, prepare to kick a$$. Valentine's Day sucks.