Home!

The first thing I saw when I got wheeled out of the hospital was smokers lighting up by the entrance. "My people!" Oh, wait, not anymore. It's the first of many nagging reminders that I am now officially a nonsmoker and if I smoke another cigarette it may kill me. Isn't it insane that I would still want one?!? Sadly, I do. I really do. Corey drove around to pick me up and I got my car ride back to the marina. Why the marina you ask? We thought about it. Kind of. For a while moving back into the house to rehab was a very real option. Here's why we decided against it.

1. I love living on my boat in the marina. It's calming and peaceful and that's just what the doctor said I needed to be. Calm and relaxed.

2. It's my own people aquarium. At the house I'd be very cut off. Here there are always people milling about and things in motion to see. I love the sailboats and the wildlife watching.

3. The said people act as unofficial babysitters. I'm never really alone here and help is yards away if I need it.

4. The boat is smaller so I don't have to walk far if I'm feeling bad and my rehab walks outside are beautiful. Who doesn't love a stroll through a beach and marina? If I'm lonely or bored I can cruise by the shipyard or the shrimpboats. There's always someone there to share some mariner's gossip.

5. I'm not in any shape to handle a move right now. All of the things I love are on the boat. You need more to run a house and frankly I don't want to be unpacking and dealing with all of that. Corey has more important things to do to so why bother?

See what I mean? I could go on but really, why? I want to be on the water so the water is what I got. I wish I could say I was in great shape for my homecoming but I was a bit of a mess. The only way I can describe how my body felt would be to say I went to sleep in the body I had had my whole life and woke up in a different one. Me and my new body have not made friends yet. It's sore and tired and blooming with bruises thanks to all of the blood thinners. I have needle marks everywhere. I lost 5 pounds in 5 days and now weigh in at a whopping 98 pounds. When I went into the ER I was a healthy looking adult in great shape. When I see myself at home now I have to laugh. I look like a crack addict or an abuse victim. I look sick and frail. How did this happen so fast?!?

In my own defense, this won't last long! No self respecting 30 year old is going to go down looking this bad. Break out the eyeliner! I get to walk for exercise and to stretch out my leg. I refuse to miss one. I do my little workout routine to try to stop muscle atrophy. Most of the bruises I can cover up and so what if they're there? I survived to earn each one thank you. If it upsets someone to see them, trust me, it upset me more to get them.

I can't even begin to explain what it felt like to arrive home. For a moment there I didn't think I would see it again. Driving up and smelling the water felt like taking a big fresh breath. It was relief, and peace, and a little elation. How did I celebrate? I went inside and took a nap. My new body has a short shelf life. It likes to sleep more then I do. Hopefully we can compromise sometime soon and both get what we want.