Sleep

I just can't. I've never been so tired in my life but sleeping through the night just isn't happening. The most I've managed is six hours. I'm turning into the queen of naps. When I get tired or my blood pressure gets high I lay down. More often then not I wake up a few hours later. It seems like every small victory I have is celebrated with a nap. My first drive by myself, visiting with friends for more then 15 minutes, cooking french toast, a longer walk. Naps after every event. It's a grinding fatigue that just won't go away. It means I'm healing so I try to be patient. The only problem is waking up tired. Where is the good overnight sleep?

This morning I found myself up at 4am and restless. I left my husband sleeping and snuck off the boat for my walk. I was armed with my phone, my nitro pills, and a book. I walked around the marina in a sweatshirt and pajama bottoms. I've lived in my marina for two years now and I've never seen a sunrise here. It's gorgeous. The bay is dead calm so the water hitting the beach has a noise like something breathing. I started walking under the brightest stars I've seen on land and I finished with the horizon starting to glow. It's seeing things like this that make sleepless nights almost worth it. Almost.