Goosebumps

Do you remember those stories when you were a kid? They always scared the pants off of us but no one ever died or anything. Old school kiddie horror. My new boat would quality for several Goosebumps stories. It's driving me nuts! Let me illustrate...

The name itself! The Heart Nazi was in love with this boat! He wanted it so bad he spent weeks telling me how great it was. Unconvinced, I went with him to look at it. The FIRST thing I see is the name on the stern. Ms. Linda. My mother's name. She passed away 2 years and many months ago and I still miss her every day. I change my mind, I change my mind! Break out the checkbook, sell the old boat, we ARE buying this boat. Creepy how the thing Corey wanted most came with a name I couldn't say no to.

Awful, awful story ahead! If you don't like them, skip to the next paragraph. You've been warned! Corey wanted new parts to fix our pretty door. After looking everywhere I suggest calling the company on the decorative plaque. Maybe they knew something? A quick Google search told us the company was less then an hour away (amazing!) and still operational. Even better, when we called the guy who answered was the guy who worked on her before! Too good to be true! He remembered the Ms. Linda and her gorgeous unique teak door. Why? ..... Because the original owner had a daughter. Her fingers were cut off when the door slammed shut on her hand. AaaaaaaAAAAAHHHH!!! Holy goodness that's bad! I could have lived my whole life on this boat and not known that! No wonder the door doesn't slide well. It's not SUPPOSED to! Gross, gross, sad, sad. Now I can't bring myself to fix the door without adding a gas cylinder or something. It just creeps me out. I'm choosing to think happy thoughts on this one and believe that the little girl is now a young lady with all of her digits. It's that or nitro and I hate those pills.

I am a brand new shiny football fan. By football I mean the Saints. ONLY the Saints. I was born in New Orleans and most of my family are diehard fans. They've loved the Saints for decades. Most of them, my mother included, are gone now but the Saints finally did it! I decided to root for "her boys" in honor of her. My general disinterest in all things football means that I have no idea what I'm cheering for but if excitement happens, I cheer to. Luckily for me I haven't accidentally cheered for the wrong side yet. I got to watch my first Super Bowl! I settled in with my heart healthy snacks (It's a rule right? Snacks?) and was happily cheering away. The Saints scored a touchdown and I was doing a happy dance when the Heart Nazi intervened.
"You better calm down."
"I'm cheering for the SAINTS!!!"
"If you don't calm down you're going to MEET a saint."
My heart rate was 140. So much for cheering huh? Right then the bathroom door that I know was closed creaked open and slammed shut. Loud. Then the knives clattered to the other side of their galley drawer. Great. The Ms. Linda agreed with the Heart Nazi. Creepy.