You know that embarrassing moment that makes you want to sink into the floor? Mine was waking up in ICU after my heart attack. I'm never going to live it down. It's five months later and I still turn beet red whenever someone brings it up. What happened? Well...
I had a really bad reaction to the drugs. I was on quite a bit of morphine so they gave me finagrin to combat nausea. Alot of finagrin. It worked alright but it also caused extreme paranoia. I started to "wake up" from the drugs to find a nurse applying hard pressure to the femoral artery bleed in my leg. How did I respond? By trying to play Whack-A-Mole with her head. There I was bleeding all over the place and I'm trying to swat her nose off of her face. Jeez.
Oh no, it didn't end there. Apparently if you were within a 10 foot radius you had a target on your forehead. I took direct offense with my father and Corey and blamed them both for "tinkering" with me. Ding, ding, ding! Let the games begin! This was THEIR fault! How could they let this happen?!? Who said it was okay to put stuff in my heart?!? Corey's comment that he would have let them crack my chest open if it meant saving my life was NOT well received. Talk about ungrateful.
I called my poor brother and cussed him out. He drove all night to see me and he and my gorgeous sister in law brought me presents. They were met with stink face and a world class pout. I had somehow thought that he was coming to "rescue" me and when I realised I wasn't going anywhere I was pissed! Betrayed again!
I also screamed at my cardiologist (Who had just saved me from heart damage.) that I wanted a cigarette. I was so convinced that I was being kidnapped that they warned the nurses that I might make a break for it. Can you imagine a crazy heart patient trying to bust out of the hospital trailing an IV stand?!? How's that for bad behavior? Corey rode to the rescue yet again and insisted they take me off everything. I was hell on wheels and I bet after two days of bad behavior he was ready for a break. Wonder of wonders, insane, crazy, kidnapped Gillian went away and I came to my senses in my hospital room. Just like that I was my normal sweet, Southern self.
I'm telling you I'll never live it down! I was a crazy person! I think I owe the ICU nurses a fruit basket or something. Especially the Whack-A-Mole one. I had to apologise to my family and friends that I fussed at. I acted like such a butt that I have a new allergy on my chart. Never again will they give me finagrin. I don't think they want to deal with me either.
Ah yes. The ICU was fun. I had Little Miss Communist Night Nurse named "Pei" (as in Pei Wei). I couldn't STAND her and her need to wake me up every 15 minutes ... for the two full days I was in ICU.
ReplyDeleteBill, the day nurse, was an honor to his profession ... Pei can kiss my butt.
Of course, my Cardiologist was a HOT female doctor who could stick needles in me all day and all I would do is stare at her ... LOL!
We are all glad that you are a fighter (putting it mildly)! And we are all glad that we are sill putting up with you. (You owe Corey a fruit basket, not a fruitcake too.)
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