Not again.

I knew it when I was doing it and I did it anyway. The wires came off and I went a little nuts. I've gone out to a movie (Avatar) and had wine and ice cream with a wonderful friend. I've had long walks on sand and went to a yoga class. I skipped dinner because I wasn't hungry (dumb) and I stayed up late with Corey. It's not surprising I had a rough night. It's surprising I didn't see it coming. I'm too stubborn for my own good.

This Saturday night I had my biggest scare yet. Ever had a lucid dream? I was fast asleep and dreaming when I FELT something go wrong. I can't explain it, but dream me started telling me to wake up and so I did. Awful, awful. I was really nauseous so I ran for the restroom. Before I could even think of food poisoning or a bug the cold sweat started. Heart buddies, you know what I'm talking about. Okay, I may be having a heart attack.

I knew it may happen so I'm prepared. Isn't it funny that all I could think about was "Wow, this is going to hurt. Start moving." and "If I wake up Corey now he's going to insist on going to the hospital. Better wait." I managed to snag all my heart gear before the chest pain got too bad and I had to lay down. I keep nitroglycerin, aspirin, and my cell phone out and available when I'm home. I took the aspirin and grabbed my cell phone. I stretched out on the floor and concentrated on getting my spine straight and my knees up. Bad chest pain makes you instinctively want to curl up. Concentrating on keeping your spine flat on the floor gives you something else to think about besides the pain and keeps you on your back.

I laid there and sweat it out for 5 minutes. Be calm, don't panic. I checked my phone to time myself. 4:00am. Thank goodness, lucky me, angels, and prayers, and any God you talk to, it worked. One nitro pill and done. 15 minutes of floor time and I could stand back up. A little shaky, but still in one piece and moving around. This is an absolute first. I haven't felt that bad since I started rehab.

Before you start fussing, I'm fine now. Episode over, I crashed out in my clammy tshirt and woke up late. I took it easy all day today and plan to call and fill my cardiologist in tomorrow. My fault. Totally my fault. The wires came off and I had to push it. I knew I had new pills (that I asked for!) and this may happen. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. It won't happen again though. Once was enough. Now let's see what the doctor says tomorrow...