How big is your stomach?

It's gorgeous outside! I just couldn't stand it. Corey called to say he wouldn't be home for lunch so I laced up my new green kicks and headed into downtown Fairhope. I had my heart walk in the sunshine while I browsed the shops. I see a shopping trip in my future. Corey and I both need smaller clothes!

This looks like ice cream but it isn't. It's my frozen yogurt and my goody of the day. I was surprised by the man that sold it to me though. He kept asking if I didn't want two scoops. Maybe a waffle cone? Some sprinkles? It's like my one scoop wasn't good enough. Really?!? What's up with this? Everything you order is giant these days. It's getting gross out there! I want a snack, not a giant waffle cone with toppings and a days worth of calories.

Did you know your stomach is about the size of your fist? It can stretch out and hold about a liter of food. Huh. Here's the kicker for me. Just because it CAN doesn't mean it SHOULD at every meal. A standard breakfast for me is something like a banana and a low fat cheese stick. If I'm really hungry I'm grab a handful of granola or something. Believe me, it's more then enough! I'll be eating again 3 hours later so why stuff myself? So here's the deal. Try eating a smaller portions more times a day. It's amazing how much better you'll feel without all the heavy meals!

Hmmm...

Meet my husband Corey! Isn't he a cutie pie? He's become an unwilling example of how a few heart healthy tweaks can change your life. The man is one heck of a trooper. He loves his steak, potatoes, and thickburgers. Unfortunately, his wife had to go and have a heart attack then come home on a mission to "upgrade" our eating habits. Poor guy. He acts like I poked a stick in his eye.

I cashed in on his Heart Nazi habits and close working proximity. Every morning I'm up at 6:15 to fix him breakfast. He checks on me at 10:00 and I toss a healthy snack at him. By 12:00 he's back again and I've got lunch ready then he's home for dinner a few hours later. Nice huh? I love it.

No more fast food!!! I stole his white bread and replaced his snickers with granola bars. I sneak in lean beef, ground turkey, and low fat cheese. You name it, I've tweaked it. There isn't an unhealthy snack on the boat but there's plenty of food and he's never hungry. Some tricks are super sneaky. I replaced his candy bars with small, individually wrapped chocolates. He eats them slower and quits after just a few. FAR less calories! Yay!

Sometimes he complains and he's entitled. "Can't you buy some Bunny bread?" "I'm not eating that." "What's wrong with this CHEESE?!?" Most of the time though he suffers in silence and just shoots me the stink eye. I ignore it all and just imagine what my sister is going through feeding a 4 year old. We can do this.

What do I get for my efforts? At 38, Corey is officially SMALLER then when I met him! I kid you not. This picture was taken on our first date. Corey was one month shy of turning 32. Not bad huh? He won't cooperate and take his shirt off for the sake of blogging but trust me. He's in better shape now. Amazing. I can't claim most of this. The man has some seriously good genes. He's 6'3, has a full head of hair, and is disgustingly healthy. Lucky duck. At 38, the man is a model for how good healthy food drops weight and adds muscle mass. The man has pecks. Sigh. Small changes people! In 7 months he's dropped down to where he was 7 years ago. It's fantastic.

He'll never admit it but he feels better to. He's active, and his eating habits are gradually changing. His waist is down to 33 inches. The dude is buff. Is it wrong to say I'm loving it? He looks great! If I can just keep this up, I imagine we'll look fabulous in our 50's. I'm ridiculously proud of him.

I'm not a really good heart patient.

It's true. I imagine really great heart attack survivors surge right into their healthy diets and never look back. Well not me. I fell off my healthy bandwagon tonight. All it took were a few rough days, a sore nose, and a sweet husband to come home with a 12 pack of Diet Coke.

Corey is a lovebug. We're total opposites but he can read me better then anyone else. It took just 5 words for him to silence my heart healthy rebel yell and drop my banner in the dust. "Want to order pizza tonight?"

-skidding to a halt-

O.O

Pizzaaaaaa!!!!

Yes sweet baby Jesus I want pizza. Just for tonight I. Am. Over this. I'm not even peeling off the cheese. Pizza is my favorite food thing. It's my mega comfort food. There's nothing grumpy that you're going through that a flat box won't help. I mean it. It's not healthy but dang it, I want it. The whole thing. The husband, the normal food, the ignore heart disease thing. We need a break. To be fair, just as well as Corey knows me, I know him. My poor guy is onto me. I've been cutting his salt and fat. Little by little he's losing weight and getting fit. He's officially back to the size he was in his early 20's and he hates it. The man wants french fries. He knows if I cave he gets a rare pizza night. Since he deserves a break, and I really want the pizza, I caved. Win, win!

Pizza Hut delivered our two pizzas and we settled in. I spent my evening with my sock feet in Corey's lap. We argued over what to watch on TV and pigging out. We talked when we wanted, were quiet when we didn't. He teased about how long before I hurked up my normal people food. Stinker. I may be a little green around the gills but still going strong thank you. As I type this he's still dozing beside me. This qualifies for a really good night. A nice, simple, normal night. Perfect.

- And no picking on me! Tomorrow is a new day and I'll dust off my banner then. Grilled chicken is on the menu. Cross my heart.

Good days, bad days.

This is one of those days that is the very definition of the term fight heart disease. You. Are. Fighting. No one ever said it was easy. Today is a bad day. It's a shame to because my aunt is in town. I had breakfast this morning with her and my father. I should have cancelled. The problem with having other people see me struggle is that's all they see. They don't see me working out or having good days. I have one shot for a good impression or I've blown it. Having my loved ones worry so much is the thing I hate most about all this. I'd change it if I could.

Today crept up on me. I got out of the shower this morning and while I was toweling my hair I glanced down and realised I had somehow given myself a bad nosebleed. I was covered in blood. Really? This is how we're going to start the day? It was so bad that if I tilted my head back I choked on the blood. I just pinched it hard and leaned over the sink. It quit dripping eventually and I got another shower. The bathroom got an extra cleaning (sparkling now!) and the towels got some Spray and Wash.

Jeez. 7am and I'm already tired. I finished getting ready and went to breakfast. My pulse is way too high and nothing I did would bring it down. Ever take a deep breath and feel like it's insufficient? Not too little, just not enough. Halfway through our visit I hit a brick wall and went from wanting to be there to just wanting to stay in my seat. Have you ever fainted? Sometimes you get this hypersensitivity to your surroundings. I started casting around for something to look at, anything to hold my concentration. A toddler's red curls were too scarlet, there was a smudge on my spoon, the lights were too bright, someone at the table beside me had the wrong kind of lip liner. I got really flushed. Please, please don't let me faint.

I made it through and upright. Back in my car and time for a new challenge! How the heck am I getting home? This is where the fight comes in. I have no pain, no pressing attack symptoms. I can walk over to my dad's car and have him drive me home. I could call my husband to come get me. Or... I could fight to maintain my mobility. If you always rely on other's you never get better. It's pushing through the days you don't want to that make for more good days. I made it a mile down the road then stopped for a Diet Coke. A few sips helped so I made it all the way to the marina with a clear head and a sick stomach. Bless my iPod. I swear it knew I felt bad so I drove home listening to Nina Simone. Fabulous song choice iPod!

Now I'm home and I plan to spend the rest of this rainy day resting. No phone, no noise, just a rocking boat and a warm blanket. Maybe some quiet time is all I need. Days like this makes me appreciate the good ones more. I'm so stinkin' tired. It never goes away completely. When I got out of the hospital every day was a bad day and the improvement was slow. Now I'm getting better. I'm so much stronger then I was, more honed to handle this, but they'll still happen. For now, me and my sore nose are taking a nap. Later this afternoon I'll take my heart walk and who knows? Tomorrow will most likely be better. One day, soon I hope, I'm going to wake up and go about my business. Halfway through that day it will occur to me. I'm not tired anymore. THAT will be a great day. All the more reason to keep going...

Oh the irony...

Somebody has some bad marketing departments! I got the heads up about this from one of my heart buddies and had a good laugh so I thought I'd pass it on. Know what today is? Free goodie day!!! You can get a free pastry at Starbucks and free ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. Now before you go driving around on a goodie hunt keep something else in mind. It's also National Diabetes Awareness Day.

Way to be a winner guys! Well done! McDonald's? Want to jump in here and advertise your chicken nuggets as healthy again? Anytime now...

Arts and Crafts!

It's Art's and Crafts time in Fairhope! I love this festival so much it's not even funny. I go every year and amble around for at least one whole day. Every year it gets bigger so you can spend hours wandering around without seeing the same thing twice.

This year, going posed some challenges but I went anyway. Parking was it's usual nightmare but I managed. I wore my heartrate and step counter just to keep an eye on myself. I walked 4 miles today! Very, very cool. My heart was still beating too fast but I managed to work around it. I sat when I needed to and stayed moving at a steady pace most of the time. Lunch posed a problem! This is the food court. Yum right? I made two whole laps around this thing...

I avoided THIS even though homemade ice cream on a spring day is one of my favorite things. It looks fabulous but it's really not heart healthy. Best to stay away right?

I settled for wok stir fry. I know, I know. It's still not heart healthy. At times like this you HAVE to eat. Skipping meals can be just as bad as eating a bad one. I should have thought ahead and packed a granola bar but I didn't think about it. I knew I had to eat something so I settled for something with veggies and noodles. When you get stuck in a situation where there isn't a salad in site just do your best. Considering the food here is mainly fried, I think I picked okay. Kinda sad though huh? Not ONE healthy option! You can order fried oreos, gator on a stick, funnel cakes, and gallons of sweet tea. Corn dogs, ice cream, and tons of fried seafood. The only salad I saw was a Greek monstrosity covered in feta and creamy dressing. Back. Away. Slowly. It's pretty sad to me that you can't get a healthy meal (or even a reasonable one) at the festival. We all love to wear the ribbons for heart health but we can't get the food. As for the restaurants? Crawfish boils, BBQ setups, and restricted menus. I struck out there to. Seriously. What's up with this?

This is the only thing I bought myself today. Some funny green sneakers. I saw them out and they made me smile so I brought them home. Aren't they silly? After a 4 mile walk I was tired! I love my new pills and I've definitely perked up. I feel full of energy and trapped a little bit. I wanted to stay longer but I came home. It's frustrating but improvement can be. I should have laid down but I couldn't bring myself to. Me and my silly sneakers pulled a chair out on my sun deck. I "rested" by spending an hour soaking up spring sunshine and listening to the classic rock from the band on the other side of the marina. It's not like I can't go back right? Tomorrow is a new day and I think I may just go walk a little more. I'll just pack and apple next time.

Do what I say, not as I do.

In light of my recent royal screw up I've decided to post a what to do entry. As in THIS is what you should do, don't read this blog and make my mistakes. I'm hardheaded/lucky/not a professional. Obviously, we can add not a good role model to the list as well. Just because I was a tool doesn't mean you have to be so here's how to up your odds of surviving a heart attack.

1. DON'T PANIC! The more wound up you are, the higher the pulse. Try to relax.
2. Find some carpet and make friends. Lay down, on your back, and work on #1.
3. Crush or chew an aspirin. Yes, you have to. Chewing it gets this poor man's blood thinner into your bloodstream faster. Just swallowing it isn't enough when you need a rapid release. Still fussy? Let's be honest. If you're Southern, you've eaten worse. Like raw oysters and sucked crawfish heads. Chew the stinkin' pill.
4. If you have nitroglycerin, use it, and start timing yourself. One pill, every 5 minutes for up to 3 pills.
5. Call 911 or have someone to call for you. Trust me, I get it. I don't want to either but you HAVE to. They can diagnose you sooner, medicate you faster, and there's no wait at the emergency room. It can absolutely save your life.

Still think you can drive yourself? At least call 911 and let them know your route and why you're traveling. Why? So when you crash on the side of the road they'll know where to come scrape you up. A heart attack is capable of dropping you fast. It's the worst you'll ever feel. A precious part of you could literally be dying in your chest. Don't drive. Ever.

6. Have a heart buddy and put them on alert. This is your person. Your go to guy. That person will follow you to the ER with a list of your medications. They'll know your wishes and be allowed to medically make decisions about your welfare. If that's not important enough, they're also the bringers of pajamas and clean underwear. Make someone in your family your heart buddy. If they don't live with you make sure they have your house key.

So there you go. Now do as I say, not as I did. I'll post sometime soon about the ER so you can see what comes next. Here's hoping none of you need this list!

So busted.

I'm in trouble. Big time. I think just about everyone who loves or cares about me has a doghouse with my name on it. Can I say I'm sorry? I screwed up and made light of the "episode" I had. It was ignorant, dumb, and drunkneck worthy. I promise to do better if there ever is a next time.

I called my cardiologist this morning. Other then my sister's gentle but effective reprimand, his gentle butt chewing made it's point in a big way. I should have spent my Sunday in the hospital. If chest pain is that bad it could very likely have been a small heart attack. I needed blood enzymes and an EKG. Good grief, my stent could have collapsed. Point taken. Never again. Luckily, I'm fine. It was most likely a heart spasm caused by too much activity. Painful sure, but I'll be fine. He did sideline my plans to walk in the 2 mile fun run this weekend. I'm going to try very hard not to complain. I deserve it so I'll take my lumps.

My Heart Nazi is also pissed. I didn't wake him up but I told him about it right away. He seemed to take it all in stride so I thought I was off the hook. It took me until movie 2 of the Star Wars trilogy to realize he wasn't going anywhere. That man is as stubborn as me. He parked on the sofa and didn't budge. Wherever I was, he was. Monday was no better. He's watching me like a hawk and when I complained I got the guilt talk. Did I SEE my sweaty shirt? What would have happened if I'd been in serious trouble? If I'd died? What about him? Wasn't I being a bit selfish? Jeez. Point taken. Next time I'll wake him up. We can always duke it out about the hospital later.

Lesson learned guys. Quit being stubborn and wake up my husband at the very least. I do like to find something positive in every post. My cardiologist gave me my good note of the day. I have "great" survival instincts. Other then the handling it by myself part, I did everything right. I didn't panic and managed to get my feet back under me in about 15 minutes. That was no small task! There's something to be said for being prepared and calm when bad stuff happens.

If you read this please know I'm sorry if you worried. I honestly can't think past my own hard head sometimes. I'll try very hard from now on to do better. Promise.

Not again.

I knew it when I was doing it and I did it anyway. The wires came off and I went a little nuts. I've gone out to a movie (Avatar) and had wine and ice cream with a wonderful friend. I've had long walks on sand and went to a yoga class. I skipped dinner because I wasn't hungry (dumb) and I stayed up late with Corey. It's not surprising I had a rough night. It's surprising I didn't see it coming. I'm too stubborn for my own good.

This Saturday night I had my biggest scare yet. Ever had a lucid dream? I was fast asleep and dreaming when I FELT something go wrong. I can't explain it, but dream me started telling me to wake up and so I did. Awful, awful. I was really nauseous so I ran for the restroom. Before I could even think of food poisoning or a bug the cold sweat started. Heart buddies, you know what I'm talking about. Okay, I may be having a heart attack.

I knew it may happen so I'm prepared. Isn't it funny that all I could think about was "Wow, this is going to hurt. Start moving." and "If I wake up Corey now he's going to insist on going to the hospital. Better wait." I managed to snag all my heart gear before the chest pain got too bad and I had to lay down. I keep nitroglycerin, aspirin, and my cell phone out and available when I'm home. I took the aspirin and grabbed my cell phone. I stretched out on the floor and concentrated on getting my spine straight and my knees up. Bad chest pain makes you instinctively want to curl up. Concentrating on keeping your spine flat on the floor gives you something else to think about besides the pain and keeps you on your back.

I laid there and sweat it out for 5 minutes. Be calm, don't panic. I checked my phone to time myself. 4:00am. Thank goodness, lucky me, angels, and prayers, and any God you talk to, it worked. One nitro pill and done. 15 minutes of floor time and I could stand back up. A little shaky, but still in one piece and moving around. This is an absolute first. I haven't felt that bad since I started rehab.

Before you start fussing, I'm fine now. Episode over, I crashed out in my clammy tshirt and woke up late. I took it easy all day today and plan to call and fill my cardiologist in tomorrow. My fault. Totally my fault. The wires came off and I had to push it. I knew I had new pills (that I asked for!) and this may happen. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. It won't happen again though. Once was enough. Now let's see what the doctor says tomorrow...

Wireless!

I'm wireless! I had to wear a heart monitor for 21 days so that my cardiologist could get an idea of what my heart is doing. We're still waiting on the results so I can't post what the verdict is yet. I've either got a rapid heartrate naturally or I've got an electrical problem. I'm going to practice classic avoidance for the next little bit and not think about it. I know about each option and have looked into both. Until I know, I'm closing the door on all of it just appreciating not having anything taped to my chest on this gorgeous sunny day.

This is a picture of what I've been carting around in what I've got for cleavage. Stickers, wires, and little black gadgets. Sooo glad that's over! It's actually a really cool system. I attached a 3 lead monitor to my chest and the 3 wires connected to that oval thing in the middle of the picture. That thing recorded and monitored my heartbeats and sent them, via Bluetooth, to a special Verizon cell phone I had to carry with me at all times. The leads had to stay on no matter what. The only time I could unhook them was when I took a shower and changed them out after. I was allowed to go about my daily life just as long as I didn't push it. Pretty cool huh?

There were some downsides though. That darn cell phone didn't work in my bedroom! No matter what I did, it wouldn't transmit data back there. I had to sleep on my couch for a month. Carrying a cell phone everywhere is harder then it looks! The restroom, cooking, in my purse...try keeping something within 10 feet at all times. It's hard! Also, that 10 feet was more like 5 before it started chirping. The worst though were the sticker leads. I've developed an allergy to the adhesive and gel in them. Not surprising, considering I've had them on so often in the last 7 months. It happens to alot of us. By the end of week one I got that itchy, burnlike rash that I see on so many heart buddies. It looks and acts just like tiny burn blisters that are shaped exactly like the circular leads. I tried to move my stickers around everyday but all I accomplished was looking like I'd been attacked by an octopus by the end of the month.

Oh well. It's over! The octopus marks are fading already and I slept in my own bed last night. I mailed the equipment back to Lifewatch this morning so all I have to do is wait for my doctor to call me. Frankly, until I get the results, I'm much more interested in spring arriving in the marina. The ducks are back, the sun, and more and more boats arrive and go everyday. I got to take my walk today under a sunny sky wearing a tshirt! A new season is here and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure it's a great one.

Best fake ever!

I love coffee. I mean really, love, coffee. I'm not a Starbuck's girl, I prefer taking my business to the local business owners. I also don't go for all the mocha, foamy, caramel junk. Give me straight coffee, cream and sugar, in the biggest cup you have please! It's how I wake up in the morning and it was a treat all throughout the day.

Guess what you aren't supposed to drink once you have heart disease. Coffee. Well, caffeine in general, but coffee is the one that made me a little pitiful. How am I supposed to wake up? I had to answer myself. "The old fashioned way dork. Jeez, quit bitchin' and be a grown up."

That was then, this is now. I'm typing this enjoying a giant cup of home brew out of my favorite mug. It's decaf, (sigh) and has Splenda and non fat creamer. I've successfully invented Frankencoffee. Fake beans, fake sugar, fake cream. Holy goodness it's good! It smells good, tastes good, and looks the same. Sure it doesn't have the kick but neither do I anymore. I'm officially decaf myself these days. Hazelnut is my friend. Every morning I get to smell coffee smells, hold my big, red, bucket of a pottery cup, and mix my brew to my hearts content. No fat, no big health hazards, no nothing. Ah,fake coffee. You and I are going to have to make friends.

The doc says one cup of the real stuff is okay a day so I have an out if I want to go to a coffee shop. Another good thing was the coffee budget. I discovered new money! I keep decaf at home. The best way for me to not have something is to not have it around me. Besides, who brews just one cup? That's it for today! Me and my Frankencoffee are going back to waking up the slow way. If you think about it though, try switching your creamer, sugar, or even beans to a healthier version. You'll be surprised, in a good way, by the difference.

Happy tears

I did it. I jogged today! I made it 1.5 miles in my cardiac rehab class today and I did it in 13 minutes. I'm not going to lie... there were a few tears involved when I was finished. It's been SO LONG and I had a little gremlin on my shoulder telling me it may never happen. It did though. It did! I'm going to be a jogger again. My day 1, ground zero, was today. My max heartrate was 174, not great, but I'll be working on keeping it down and I know I can push through it.

I'm going to miss my rehab guys! I have a little over a week left then I'm set free. I'm the last to go and there's all new people. See this picture of me? This is what happens when you lend your iPhone to a new heart buddy to check out your music. Somehow the dude managed to take 5 pictures. 3 of his thumb, one or his neck, and this one. Gotta love tech crippled people. I found it when I got home and had a good laugh.

Know what's great? When I started rehab I was so sad. I'd never been more stressed or felt so bad. Every day there was a struggle, mentally and physically, that I just had to push through. Now I see that same look in the faces of my new heart buddies. They look to ME as a success story now. Can you believe it? I have so much more to do but I get it. I've got my spark back. It was just a dim little flicker and now it's coming back. My new heart buddy who took this picture is like that. I can look him in the eyes today and tell him that it DOES get better. I get why he hates it there. I did to. The gym is great, the people are wonderful, but it's hard being in a rehab class when you thought you were healthy. Maybe because I've been there so long I just see it more. All us new people have the same stunned, upset, tired look. It's rough. We keep it up though and slowly we perk up. We're just scrawny azalea bushes waiting to bloom.

I'm still going to have hard days. I get tired quickly and out of breath sometimes. I still have chest pain and have to take my pills but all those baby steps are paying off. Today was my first leap. I can do it! I may never be the fastest, or even finish, but I'll be the most stubborn. No one is telling me no anymore after this!