Sunday, October 17, 2010

Beware of the no parent friends!

Corey and I aren't parents and have no idea how to act around little kids. Sure, we know not to use foul language or set bad examples. It's all the little stuff that gets us in trouble! Who knew that potty training was such a big deal and lip gloss was forbidden? Not I! I'll admit it, we have NO IDEA what to do with a kid!

Halloween is right around the corner. I have the cutest niece and nephew in the world so I decide to spoil them a little. A box! Mail them a box! Off I go on a kid stuff hunt. Some books? Sure. Some toys? Just one each? What about a t shirt? Yup, he needs it. Silly Bandz??? Don't ALL kids like those? Now a marshmallow pickled head, tons of candy, candy jewelry, and lollipops the size of my hand. Huge! Look at all this loot! I pitched in some Halloween safety flashlights and blinky necklaces just to prove to my sister I know what I'm about. See? Now it's a SAFETY Halloween box. There's that good example I was talking about.

I cart all my WalMart bags into the UPS Store maniacally excited about shipping this stuff off. After the box was COVERED in packing peanuts and I was $25.00 poorer for the shipping it started. Maybe...this...wasn't smart. Oh good lord, I just shipped a ton of sugar and packing peanuts to my sister!!! Surely she's policing two adorable, overstimulated, holiday time kiddies and WHAT do I do? Ship sticky stuff to her front door. I call her in a slight panic and confess all. PLEASE don't kill me. Or think I'm a bad aunt. I just have no idea how to act. I screwed up so intercept that package and forgive your sister that doesn't know better!!!

Well that phone call was yesterday and do you think I learned anything? Nope! My little 6 year old friend Allie came over with her daddy. While Corey and his bud are outside I snag Allie to hang out. Who else can I convince to watch my new Beauty and the Beast DVD with me?!? I make popcorn then leave a bowl of chocolate out. By the time her dad checked on her we were exploding marshmallows in the microwave. This is NOT setting a good example. It's not entirely my fault though. I was lulled into anarchy by this cute drawing she gave me. Look how she spelled my name wrong!On a paper plate! Cuuute!!! You parents get kid gifts like this all the time so you're numb to their powers. I NEVER get kid drawings so I can't resist. Allie's adorable nature and cute pictures made me lose my head. We dropped Red Hots in our water bottles to watch them turn pink and then I spoiled her dinner with ice cream. Yes, that's on top of the chocolate, popcorn, and marshmallows. We had a blast!

I am the Antichrist of good parenting. My sister is getting a box of mayhem and Allie is practically pinging off the walls with her Disney infused sugar rush. All in the same weekend. I'm hopeless. :(

Update: Late last night I noticed something funny on Corey's hand. He was out cold and the lights were off so I had to look close to make it out. A L L I E. She Sharpie'd my husband. 6 year olds are adorable! I'm thinking Corey gets major points to... just for being the sweet, tolerant, big bear of a guy that would let a little blond girl color on him. I married SUCH a keeper!

1 comment:

  1. Precious! All of it - just precious! (You seem to be a wonderful aunt!)

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